Tommy Chong said that the U.S. should federally legalize marijuana and that hemp will save the world. Tommy, Go Take a Nap! Legal weed just means we’ll all be at home eating Funyuns and playing video games all night, and that’s no way to save this world. [The Funyun corporation would be happy.--Eds.]

An unnamed buyer purchased a topless painting of Bea Arthur for $1.9Million at auction. Unnamed buyer, Go Take a Nap! Do you have any idea how many cheap tacos that could buy? That’s, like, 3.8Million cheap tacos! [Or 7.6Million really cheap tacos.--Eds.]

The viewership for the American Idol finale was one third less this year than last year. Oh, Really? You mean people are getting tired of the same-old stuff? [We wait for it to come out on DVD so we can watch the whole season in one weekend.--Eds.]

And Justin Bieber doesn’t want his capuchin monkey back, but the cost of housing it by German customs could be in the thousands of dollars. Bieber, Go Take a Nap! You do the right thing and go get your monkey back and you apologize and make some videos with it. [He could write a song about capuchin monkeys.--Eds.]

Honey Boo Boo’s parents did not actually get married, although a show was filmed as if though they did. Honey Boo Boo’s parents, Go Take a Nap! Do not pull on my heartstrings like that! I want your love to be really real, not reality real! [We want real real.--Eds.]

Liam Gallagher almost died from eating a blue M&M, because he has a severe peanut allergy. Liam, Go Take a Nap! Everyone knows the blue M&Ms are risky! [We ask our personal assistants to remove them from each bag.--Eds.]

And Snoop Lion admitted to being a pimp in 2003 and 2004, but it wasn’t for money. Snoop, Go Take a Nap! The whole point of pimping is the money. [And the clothes.--Eds.]

Leonardo DiCaprio said his real life is not always like Jay Gatsby’s. Oh, Really? Does it have anything to do with Jay Gatsby being a fictional character from the 1920s? [A good surmise.--Eds.]

And Reese Witherspoon chalked up her embarrassing arrest to too many glasses of red wine. Reese, Go Take a Nap! We’ve all had too many glasses of red wine, but you don’t see us all getting arrested and talking about it on national tevee. [Her story's not so far-fetched.--Eds.]

And Ben Affleck said he was going to feed himself for $1.50 for a day, in a challenge to see what it’s like to eat like the 1.4Billion people on this planet who do just that every day. Ben, Go Take a Nap! Anyone can eat ramen and beans for one day. You’ve got to do that every day before you realize you’re in college again. [We eat on $2.30 a day.--Eds.]

For example, the hot and sour soup is much tastier because there are several different kinds of mushrooms and the broth has a meatier taste, and isn’t as thickened. I also like that there aren’t any of those nasty little baby shrimp to avoid.

Better quality, multi-mushroomed.

I’ve been told the Mongolian Beef and the Shrimp Garlic Sauce Chicken are particularly good here, but I went with the Hunan Beef. I ordered steamed rice, but the fried rice is much better at China Wall than most places because they pay for a higher-quality rice, which is stickier but not dry, and not soggy.

Hunan beef.

The beef is higher quality, too, not stringy or fatty. It was very tender, and the mixed vegetables weren’t overcooked, making for a good texture contrast. There were fresh mushrooms, snow peas, carrots, broccoli, and bok choy. I don’t like water chestnuts, but there was only one on the plate, so I deftly moved it aside like a highly-skilled ninja warrior.

The place is very clean, but a bit small with just a few tables, but that’s fine because most of the orders are for take-out or delivery (there were plenty of open tables when we ate lunch). The staff was extremely friendly and courteous. If you visit, the staff recommends the following house specialties: Coconut Shrimp, General Tso’s Chicken, House Special Lo Mein (chicken, pork, shrimp combo), and Szechuan Beef.

[China Wall: 8550 Andermatt Drive]

Disney confirmed a new Star Wars movie would hit theaters every summer starting in 2015, each year alternating between the major story line and movies focusing on individual characters. Disney, that’s Quite Nice. What the world needs now is more Star Wars movies, ASAP, and I hope it all works out. [We can't wait to see the new Jar-Jar movie.--Eds.]

And Bradley Cooper revealed that his mom lives with him, but she’s a “cool chick,” so it’s all good. Bradley, Go Take a Nap! Living with your mom is never cool when you’re in your thirties. [It could be if she were a cool chick.--Eds.]

And after visiting the Anne Frank House museum in Amsterdam, Justin Bieber said he hoped Anne Frank would have been a belieber. Justin, Go Take a Nap! You don’t need to hope she would’ve been a belieber, you need to know she would’ve been a belieber. That’s what beliebing is all about. [We're 'bout it.--Eds.]

Jimmy Fallon will replace Jay Leno on the Tonight Show next spring. Jimmy, that’s Just Nice. You keep that post-geriatric crowd laughing as they fall asleep. [That's a little harsh.--Eds.]

It was revealed that Freddie Mercury helped sneak Princess Diana into a gay club in the late 1980s by disguising her as a male model. Freddie and Diana, that’s Quite Nice. But it would’ve been way better to sneak Prince Charles into the club as a female model. [We'd know it was him.--Eds.]

And Chris Brown said he would never assault Rihanna again. Chris, that’s Really Quite Nice. We’ll be watching you. [We hope it all works out for them.--Eds.]

Tilda Swinton has a new nap performance at MoMA, sleeping in a clear box all day. Tilda, that’s Really Quite Nice. I’m glad someone is finally taking my advice and taking naps these days. [Maybe she got the idea from watching golf on the couch?--Eds.]

Will Smith said he didn’t want to play Django in Django Unchained because it wasn’t the lead role. Will, Go Take a Nap! You don’t need all the starring roles! You can play smaller roles sometimes and people will still say stuff like “Welcome to Urf!” when they see you. [Being a star is difficult at times.--Eds.]

And Justin Bieber’s pet Capuchin monkey, Mally, was confiscated at a Munich airport after displaying erratic behavior. Mally, Go Take a Nap! You gotta check yourself and keep it real, yo! [Dat monkey be all whack.--Eds.]

And Sir Ian McKellen will officiate Patrick Stewart’s wedding. Sir Ian, Go Take a Nap! Magneto hates Dr. X! He can’t officiate his wedding! [No, they were playing ghost chess the last time we saw them together. It's all good.--Eds.]