And in Flew Enza
Steven Soderbergh said he had to make his Liberace movie for HBO because the major Hollywood studios thought it was “too gay.” Major Hollywood studios, Go Take a Nap! Have you seen any of the superhero movies lately? They’re all totally gay. Get over it. [Liberace wasn't a superhero, though, was he?--Eds.]
Timothy Dalton said it’s time for James Bond movies to get some real Oscar recognition, because Skyfall is such a good movie. Timothy, Go Take a Nap! Skyfall is no Shakespeare in Love. [We thought Shakespeare in Love wasn't too gay.--Eds.]
Justin Bieber said Saturday Night Live writers can make fun of his recent pot scandal in skits when he hosts the show next month. Justin, that’s Just Nice. But I want to see an entire show making fun of you for throwing up on stage, not smoking marihuana. [We'd let the writers make fun of our mistakes, but the only one is agreeing to edit this column.--Eds.]
And a new book about Tom Cruise and Scientology states that Tom’s ultimate purpose in life is to protect us from aliens in our bodies bent on destroying the planet. Tom, that’s Really Quite Nice. I’m glad you’re on that, because I’m too busy drinking and playing on my iPad to fight internal aliens. [We'd enlist, but Maury's coming on soon.--Eds.]
