Pass the football and score
Entertainment Weekly declared Daniel Radcliffe as 2011′s entertainer of the year. Daniel, that’s Really Quite Nice. You might be on top of the world now, but we’ll all be gunning for you in 2012. [We want to be editors of the year for 2012.--Eds.]
The woman who burgled Alex Trebek’s hotel room will not face a three-strikes felony charge. She allegedly stole $661 and Alex tore his Achilles tendon chasing her. Alex, Go Take a Nap! Everyone knows you gotta do some stretches before you run after burglars, especially at your age. [A mustache might've helped, too.--Eds.]
And Gene Simmons was critical of the announcement that Madonna would perform at the Super Bowl, implying she was a karaoke singer singing along to recordings. Gene, Go Take a Nap! You’re just jealous because they’ll never ask you to perform anything at the Super Bowl, unless maybe it’s Official Guacamole Taster. [He would be good at the coin toss.--Eds.]
