The chifforobe is haunted
Prince Charles said he is related to Vlad the Impaler as part of a way to help promote conservation of Transylvania’s forests. Prince Charles, that’s Quite Nice. Are you also related to Gummi bears so you can conserve the Black Forest? [We're related to Ents and we want to conserve Fangorn Forest.--Eds.]
Stephen Spielberg says he’s proud of the scene in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in which Indy survives a nuclear bomb by rolling around in a lead-lined refrigerator, because now people say “nuked the fridge” instead of “jumped the shark.” Stephen, Go Take a Nap! Oscar-winning directors should be proud of making movies that are good, not updating pop culture phraseology. [This column has definitely Imogened the Coca.--Eds.]
Michael Jackson earned $170Million last year. Michael, Go Take a (Dirt) Nap! That’s, like, 340Million cheap tacos! [Or 680Million cheap tacos on cheap taco night.--Eds.]
And Jason Alexander took his comedy to Israel in an effort to promote Mideast peace and the idea of two states for two people. Jason, Go Take a Nap! Do you think a few well-placed one-liners will stop people from blowing each other up? [It worked for Bob Hope.--Eds.]
