Oblivious to the obvious
Chaz Bono says he doesn’t want to be the first off of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, Really? Because being off first on reality shows is a compliment to the chef in some countries. [Mixed metaphors up next?--Eds.]
Kate Winslet was cutting up a chicken when she received a phone call that she was nominated for an Emmy. Kate, that’s Quite Nice. It’s nice to know some celebrities know how to cut up chickens. I’m guessing the great Hal Linden, Imogene Coca, and Gene Rayburn all knew how to cut chickens. [And how.--Eds.]
Dr. Mehmet Oz said that trace amounts of arsenic in apple juice pose a health risk, but the FDA disagrees. Mehmet and the FDA, Go Take a Nap! It seems pretty obvious that trace amounts of arsenic either are health risks or they’re not. Come to an agreement and let me know so I can plan accordingly. [It's good there's no old lace in apple juice.--Eds.]
And Charlie Sheen said he would’ve fired his own ass if he were CBS and he was he. Charlie, Go Take a Nap! You can’t fire your own ass. Period. [You can fire-off your ass, though, right?--Eds.]
