Foo-ball time
As many as 7,000 people were expected to attend the Call of Duty XP convention, where a $150 ticket would get you previews of the newest game, real-life simulations of the game, and a performance by Kanye West. Call of Duty XP convention, Go Take a Nap! If you can’t get the Insane Clown Posse to show up, the whole event comes off as a little cheap. [Faygo and real-life simulations of games don't mix.--Eds.]
JCPenney has pulled a T-shirt for girls which says: “I’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me.” The shirt has been criticized by various groups as being sexist. Various groups, Go Take a Nap! It’s not sexist to be pretty or get other people to do homework for you! [We've been trying to get other people to edit this column for years.--Eds.]
Lindsay Lohan got a tattoo that of lyrics from Billy Joel’s I Go to Extremes. Lindsay, that’s Just Nice. But the lyrics for The Stranger or Scenes from an Italian Restaurant would’ve been way cooler. [We think "Allentown" would make a good tattoo.--Eds.]
An adult film star was diagnosed with HIV, causing many porn producers in L.A. to stop production. Many porn producers, Go Take a Nap! There’re lots of ways to say “I love you” without sex. Maybe you could make a movie or two where people just talk to each other nice and say nice things. [We probably wouldn't watch such a film.--Eds.]
And Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day was kicked off a plane for having saggy pants. Billy Joe, Go Take a Nap! When you get on a plane, you pull up your pants. Then you sit down and do crosswords or listen to music or talk to your row-mates about current events and the weather where you’re from. [We like to crunch ice.--Eds.]
