Where are all the moon-dried tomatoes?

Florence Henderson says she got crabs from John Lindsay, who was the mayor of New York at that time. Florence, that’s Really Quite Nice. I mean it. That’s Really Quite Nice. [We prefer to call them pubic lice.--Eds.]

The iconic dress Marilyn Monroe wore in The Seven Year Itch sold recently at auction for $4.6Million. Marilyn’s iconic dress, Go Take a Nap! Do you have any idea how many cheap tacos that is? That’s like 9.2Million cheap tacos! [Or 18.4Million cheap tacos on cheap taco night.--Eds.]

A group of investors sued Tobey Maguire over some poker winnings which the lawsuit claims were fraudulent transfers of money. Tobey, Go Take a Nap! You don’t need to play poker for money. Just play for peanuts. It’s the same rush. [We play for cashews.--Eds.]

And a judge gave Lindsay Lohan a citation for rooftop partying. Judge, Go Take a Nap! Lindsay has to party on the rooftop or it all just goes to shit. [We like rooftop gardens.--Eds.]

~ by jackjackson on June 26, 2011.

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