Durk, LaBraun
The ratings for the MTV Movie Awards were down for the second year in a row, despite extra swearing and fondling. MTV Movie Awards, Go Take a Nap! You can’t get better ratings just because you swear and fondle! You’ve got to provide real entertainment, like, for example, Hal Linden and Imogene Coca doing their version of Me and My Shadow. [Estelle Getty would be a nice add, too.--Eds.]
John Stewart cut his finger on a broken glass while taping a segment making fun of Andrew Weiner. John, Go Take a Nap! You need to be more careful! And stop joking around! [We cut some wieners while editing this post.--Eds.]
Prince Harry and Prince William have to mark their shoes so they make sure they aren’t wearing each other’s. Princes, Go Take a Nap! Everyone knows if you see some shoes that look like yours but you’re not sure they are, you just sniff the insides. If they smell like your feet, they’re your shoes. [Sounds easy enough.--Eds.]
And Russell Crowe apologized for his anti-circumcision tweets. Russell, Go Take a Nap! You go ahead and be strong in your beliefs. You’re a big Hollywood actor and you’ve got an Oscar. [And some extra skin?--Eds.]
