Rememberable days ahead
Oprah’s last show, after 25 years, was a paean to her fans and she talked about how much her fans helped her grow and her only regret was not spending more time on bringing attention to sexual molestation of children. Oprah, that’s Quite Nice. But one show on sexual molestation of children is enough, and you devoted 217 shows to the topic, so I think you brought an adequate amount of attention to it. [She should've done 218 shows on the topic.--Eds.]
Some old 1966 tapes reveal that Bob Dylan was once addicted to heroin and had suicidal thoughts. Oh, Really? Well maybe he can write some songs about it all. [Rolling stones gather heroin?--Eds.]
Mark Zuckerberg now only eats animals he’s slaughtered his ownself. Mark, that’s Just Nice. But I haven’t seen any pix yet on , so it didn’t really happen. [Maybe he's worried that he would steal the animals' souls if he photographed them?--Eds.]
And more than 122 million votes were cast for American Idol. American Idol, Go Take a Nap! You can’t crown an American Idol until every man, woman, and child votes! [And everyone who votes should get a free taco.--Eds.]
