The world will end, in the future
After 45 years, Jerry Lewis will host the Muscular Dystrophy Association’s Labor Day Telethon one more time, and he will also sing one more time. Jerry, that’s Quite Nice. You’ve earned a day of vacation after 45 years of hard work. Just don’t ask Drew Carey to replace you. [Maybe Bob Barker is available?--Eds.]
Japan deported Russell Brand for prior legal issues but the reasons were not revealed because of privacy concerns. Japan, Go Take a Nap! You gotta tell us what crazy stuff he did so we can figure out whether the deportation was justified. [Maybe he left using the same door he entered?--Eds.]
Rod Stewart said his new Las Vegas show will be just a rock show, and won’t feature midgets nor will it feature magicians. Rod, Go Take a Nap! If you want me to come see you, you better wheel out a magical midget or two. [Vern Troyer is probably free.--Eds.]
And Jake Gyllenhaal wants websites to pull a faked picture of him in underwear. Jake, Go Take a Nap! You’re a celebrity and websites are supposed to have pictures of celebrities in underwear, even if they’re fake. [We like the Buffy fan-fiction.--Eds.]
