Do the dance
Evan Rachel Wood said she’s like the guy when she dates women, being the more dominant one. Evan Rachel, that’s Really Quite Nice. It’s nice to know what people are getting into when they date someone, so I’m sure you’ll have no shortage of women calling you asking you to dominate them. [We take on the editorial role when dating.--Eds.]
In unrelated news, Thomas Dekker said in Out magazine that he understands there are rumors he’s gay, but he’s only had relationships with women, and he’s not going to rule out having a relationship with men. Thomas, Go Take a Nap! How is that addressing your sexuality? We want to hear whether you’re dominant when you date other men, or what you’re into, like maybe space-docking or double-decking. [We think he and Evan Rachel ought to hang out and pet each other's hair off.--Eds.]
James Franco will be pursuing a Ph.D. at the University of Houston’s creative writing program. James, that’s Quite Nice. Maybe it will lead to something someday. [Like maybe he can host the Agatha Awards?--Eds.]
And Snoop Dogg is facing criticism for sponsoring Blast by Colt 45, a 23.5-ounce can of malt liquor with 12% alcohol, which is equal to drinking a six-pack of beer. Snoop, Go Take a Nap! Your stature should get you better endorsement deals, like 26-ounce cans of malt liquor with 14% alcohol content. [It's all about the flavor.--Eds]
