Maintain and contain
Prosecutors say they have evidence that Michael Jackson’s doctor was juggling phone calls and texts from three different women hours before Michael’s death. Prosecutors, Go Take a Nap! Sounds like you’re just a bit jealous. Anyone who can juggle phone calls and texts from three different women and take care of a patient is A-OK in my book. [Actually, he didn't do a very good job taking care of the patient.--Eds.] {Sounds like some editors are jealous, too.–Jack Jackson} [Whatever.--Eds.]
Dennis Quaid said cocaine was factored into film budgets in the 1980s, and that he was doing so much cocaine while filming The Big Easy that he was only getting one hour of sleep each night. Dennis, Go Take a Nap! An hour of sleep is all you need when you’re on cocaine. [We're not sure that's the point of the story.--Eds.]
Seal, Santana, and Sting are all headliners at this year’s Montreaux Jazz Festival. Montreaux Jazz Festival, that’s Quite Nice. But couldn’t you get Sade, Selena, and Shakira, too? [We were hoping for Imogene Coca and Hal Linden.--Eds.]
And Charlie Crist made a public YouTube apology to David Byrne for his campaign’s unauthorized use of Road to Nowhere. Charlie, that’s Quite Nice. I’m sure you’ll be a nice example for all politicians in the future, who will never, ever do anything unauthorized again. [At least for awhile.--Eds.]
