Oversimplify or overcomplicate: you decide
Sammy Hagar said he was abducted by aliens and they downloaded information from his brain wirelessly to see what he knew. Sammy, Go Take a Nap! Aliens wouldn’t need to wirelessly download your brain to figure out what you know. All they have to do is watch a bunch of Van Halen videos and concert footage. [And read his new book.--Eds.]
Those attending the royal wedding are told not to tweet or hug the queen. Royal wedding, Go Take a Nap! Would it hurt to let a few people hug the queen and then tweet that they hugged the queen? I think it would be Really Quite Nice. [That's Just Nice.--Eds.]
Elizabeth Taylor was buried next to Michael Jackson, her friend of many years. Elizabeth and Michael, Go Take a (Dirt) Nap (together)! [Forever.--Eds.]
And Snoop Dogg is promoting a new and controversial alcoholic beverage, Blast by Colt 45. The drink is controversial because the 12% alcoholic drink comes in flavors like grape and raspberry watermelon and critics allege kids will confuse it with soft drinks. Snoop Dogg, Go Take a Nap! You need to change the flavors to stuff like “adult melon” or “not-for-teens pruneberry” or something or else all the kids everywhere will get torched and then we’ll really be screwed. [How about broccoliberry?--Eds.]
