Get your pants on and face the day
Bristol Palin may or may not have a memoir available this summer. Bristol, Go Take a Nap! How can you leave us hanging and dangling like this? We want to know whether you have a memoir available this summer right now. [We can wait until summertime to find out.--Eds.]
Miley Cyrus said she’s sorry about the salvia bong hit she took which was depicted in a picture that swirled around the Internet. Miley, that’s Quite Nice. Being young and doing drugs and then getting it all over the Internet is no way to lead your life. We’re glad you’ve turned a new leaf and will remain totally drug free for the rest of your life. [Or at least do drugs alone in the basement with the lights out.--Eds.]
Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding will not be broadcast in 3-D. Prince and Kate’s wedding, Go Take a Nap! Do you have any idea how awesome a 3-D wedding would be? It would be beautiful and exciting and you get to wear those awesome glasses the whole time, and when he reaches out to put the ring on her ring finger, it’ll be like you could practically reach out into the tevee and touch it all. [We don't want to see British teeth in 3-D.--Eds.]
And Arnold Schwarzenegger says he’s ready to return to acting after finishing his stint as California’s governor. Arnold, that’s Quite Nice. We’ve been waiting for Contra 2 and more Mr. Freeze one-liners. [Cool it. --Eds.]
